Hello! After a lot of driving (a friend reading me posts from the njcon tag and me being appalled by a lot of those posts) I’m making this blog to try and stem the wank a little.
I know this is asking a lot but if you could all please stop posting about this in the “njcon” tag that would be great. Please, please start using the tag “njwank” so that people who would like to hear about this really wonderful con could actually look at the njcon tag.
Now, about the actual question. This is the question I was going to ask:
I’ve loved seeing Dean’s character become more comfortable with himself this season. As a bisexual, I’ve noticed some possible subtext, as seen in Everybody Hates Hitler, that Dean might be coming to accept himself as something other than straight too? I know you’ve said you know Dean better than anyone, so, in your professional opinion, as the preeminent scholar on Dean Winchester, if you see that as a valid interpretation of what’s going on with the character this season.
That’s the question. The whole question. Questions were screened. The woman screening the questions listened to me say that my question is relating to Dean’s development in the show and how he may have changed from s1 to now and then showed that I even had the question written down on my phone. The woman nodded and asked if that was the only thing I’d be asking as I am allowed one question. She then just went through the typical “Don’t ask for hugs, no personal stories, no asking for phone calls, etc.” Please note that nothing was said about anyone asking for questions about sexuality or shipping being banned.
Now here is what happened when I attempted to ask this question. I got as far as the word “bisexual” before the crowd groaned. I proceeded to hold my hand up in a ‘please just wait a second and let me finish’ way and then got as far as the word subtext before the crowd was full on booing and starting to shout a couple things I couldn’t make out. This is when Clif stepped out from behind the curtain looking very intimidating. He said, “Are you really going to ask this question?” to which I responded, “No, I have the question right here on my phone” and I held it up to him for him to read it but he was just like, “Just explain it to me”.
I then stood on my tiptoes to talk directly in his ear because the crowd was still too loud. I kind of stumbled through the explanation of the question as it’s a complex question. I just stepped down after that and Clif just said, “Don’t ask that. Please just thank them and go.”
He did not say this in an angry way. It is Clif’s job to keep things around Jared and Jensen calm and the way the crowd was was not calm at all. This question was just a little too much for the first question and people’s reactions were very, very negative so obviously I wouldn’t be asking the question. I looked up at Clif and told him that I meant no disrespect and to please tell Jared and Jensen that, then immediately grabbed the microphone and said, “I did not mean to be disrespectful at all. Thank you so much.” and then stepped back so that the girl behind me could move to the mic.
Jensen looked confused and said, “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”
I spoke up at that and quietly sort of yelled towards Jensen that Clif would tell him later. When it was obvious that I wasn’t going to ask my question, he stated that that was his queue to move on and he then took the next question.
I continued to stand there with the next girl in line since she was nervous, not only because she was about to ask a question but also because she was surprised by Clif when he appeared practically out of nowhere to stop me. At this point, the woman who screened my question and Adam (works with Creation) came up looking confused and asked if I got to ask my question to which I replied, “No, I’m just waiting for her to ask her question.” to which they asked the girl to step up to the microphone.
That’s what happened on my end. Here’s how I feel about it.
Jensen wasn’t talking to me when he said anything during this one minute video. I was engaged in trying to explain my question to Clif. Jensen was turned to the crowd, keeping them entertained while this was happening. I didn’t know what he was saying until I got to watch this video after the fact.
- I am not upset by Jensen trying to keep the crowd engaged
- I am not upset at Clif for trying to keep the crowd calm
- I am not upset at Jared for encouraging me to keep going
What I am is annoyed that as soon as I stated that I am bisexual, people groaned. Maybe that’s not something you think is okay. Maybe I could have asked this question in a better fashion. The point is, you should never boo or groan at someone when they state their sexuality. I don’t care if you thought I was going to ask a shipping question. I don’t care what you think about me as a person. The end goal for this question was Jensen going in depth about his characterization of Dean.
The answer to this question didn’t really matter to me personally, I’m going to ship what I’m going to ship no matter what the canon sexuality of a character is. But I know it does matter to a lot of people and that is why I decided on asking this. A friend has been thinking about this question for quite a while and we have been hashing it out since before VegasCon. We were originally going to ask it there, but were too far back in line.
This was a question going to be asked for a very long time now, and so of course I was going to grab the opportunity to ask it. I didn’t think twice of what happened at Misha’s panel as I hadn’t really been online to witness the wank and the atmosphere at the con was very happy.
Having been to many cons (7th con, 5th SPN con), the atmosphere here was very good and I didn’t really take the wank seriously.
Now, it took me a couple hours before I went and talked to Clif (I’ve never been scared of talking to someone ever, but wow Clif is intimidating when he needs to be), right after I nervously said hello, I didn’t get another word out before Clif asked me "How are you?"
After this, I relaxed a bit and apologized for having put him in that position. I really didn’t mean too and didn’t expect that reaction. Clif smiled and just suggested to keep it lighthearted next time (next time) for the first question. He gave me a hug and I asked him to state again to Jared and Jensen that I meant no disrespect and he smiled and said he would.
Overall, what I’m most disappointed about is the fandom’s inability to look past this one incident to really appreciate how wonderful this con was.